As it was with Vincent. Vinnie was the lifeguard in the Top of The One Club. Top of the One is, of course, on the top of one building - building where nobody below 70 lives. So, people come to the pool, sit in their chairs and fall asleep. You just have to wake them up before closing. On weekends the place is full of grandchildren mooching over for money. Vinnie was a great lifeguard. Probably the only one at that place who ever cleaned anything. Pool was so dirty that I was too disgusted to swim, once when I was a substitute lifeguard over there. And in skimmer I found a large specimen of a New York common cockroach. But Vinnie, as all great individuals who actually do their jobs, had a personality. And personality by default has a problem with authority.

Mike, the manager of the Top of the One (and another health club, too), is a gay. His last name must be popular with his gay community. It sounds foreign and nobody can spell it properly. I forgot it. Being a gay, he loves men. Particularly young ones with cute ass. So, he made his two beaus, who barely made their 21 birthday (Louis and Neil), assistant managers and pays them $15 an hour for hanging around. Both Louis and Neil are nice guys. Neil loves to go to night-clubs, preferably expensive ones. We discussed current options extensively. I didn't have any problems with Mike, either.

Vincent was just not as liberal. He was almost openly disgusted with Mike, and he played macho. He also dated Nancy. Nancy is some sort of deputy manager at the Top of the One. Cute ass, too. But a woman. Mike hates women. So, he needs a woman deputy to make her feel miserable (the first rule of good Forengi management). Following the rules of management depicted above, Nancy need to make the people below her feel miserable. Well, given that Nancy and Vincent were boyfriend-girlfriend, and that they are not that any more, there is a tension between them in the air. A tension that, given their individual positions in the corporate food chain, Nancy can and Vinnie cannot exploit. Or maybe we got it all wrong?!

Last Friday, when Nancy coincidentally called me with her sweetest voice asking me if I can come in to be a substitute lifeguard for the afternoon, Mike fired Vincent over Nancy's complaint. Firing was effective immediately, since Vincent inadvertently sent Mike to a hospital for a few stitches following the bad news delivery.

Bettina, the ubiquitous aquarobic instructor, and spy on the lives of New York health clubs, was there preparing for her class. She, herself a lifeguard certified, said she'd sit by the pool while Vinnie run to the office to pick up his and her check. The moment Vinnie left, Nancy came by. Nancy and Bettina are ol' chops. Nancy was cheerful and talkative, but when her ex returned her mood changed. She asked him how could he had left pool, giving him the "rules of conduct" summary (lifeguard should not leave the pool if there is anybody swimming under almost no circumstances). Vincent said that Bettina... but Nancy didn't want to hear about Bettina. So, Bettina volunteered to protect Vinnie... but Nancy wouldn't let her; she said: "We have proper channels here, (i.e.) Vincent had to ask ME if he wanted to leave pool." Aha, he stopped fucking her, and suddenly proper channels kicked in.

Vincent, instead of slapping a sexual harassment charges over Nancy for this, went overboard in his open disregard of her undeserved bullshit authority, and get quarrelling with her as his ex. So, she cried uncle back in the office asking Mike to "do something".

Which Mike did - telling Vince that he was fired. Eventually, Mike did it in that typical Mike way, lacking any tact, like: "You see, I can fire you at will and you can't do anything about it," talking fast, with head slightly bent forward, as he is going to bite you, squirting his eyes and grinning wide. Then something short-circuited inside Vincent, who was just doing some rope jumping.

In an effort to show that he "can do something about it", Vinnie jumped on Mike and started kicking him in head and stomach. Quickly, Mike was overpowered and bloody in his face, and Vince was strangling him with the jumping rope. At that point Nancy jumped on Vincent's back screaming on him to let Mike go. How romantic! What a tearjerker!

Vincent finally backed down. However, he did not forget to warn Mike that if he tells anything to the police or EMS, he'd get his friends to find him and finish him up.

Epilogue: Vincent is fired, and banned from building and the 30 feet around it. Mike is in hospital where he is treated for wounds he got by falling a flight of stairs. Nancy calls me to be a substitute lifeguard. But, Mike makes dull jokes about my haircut, and he has a problem with me working out during my break. So, I just ignore the call. To quote the Prophets: "You can't fire me because I quit" (Scentless Apprentice, In Utero, Nirvana). For shitty seven dollars they pay me, I am allowed to have an attitude.